One hears a lot of advice from people that dating someone from the same working place is never a good idea. They say there will be too much tension when you have to see the other half every single day. It will be hard to avoid not incorporating your personal issues when at work. You will feel exhausted of spending 24/7 together. The conversations will be lacking because you both do the same thing. And all that other jazz. You know I tried to test what it is like to be in a relationship with a co-worker, but every time it backfires a date or two into the whole thing. And it gets well too awkward… every single time.
My most recent ‘fling’ was with that six foot two guy that came to support our store for a week or so. He seemed handsome, maybe a bit too put together so one started asking a question to myself whether he is gay or not. Being a girl who is good at stalking (please, now we all are pretty good at it and deserve to have a degree for it), I found out bits and bobs about him. A guy loves travelling, seems to be nice, his age is appropriate, and, most importantly, he broke up with his girlfriend not long ago. ‘Bingo’, I thought, since that last part means he is not gay and also available.
But you know there’s always that little doubt inside your head when the guy seems to be perfect. You always wonder what the hell is wrong with him. There must be something that’s off. Always. It took me a while, as in two weeks, to gather what was so worrying about this tall and handsome guy. It started with me getting his number merely two days after we’ve met. We started to chat daily, sometimes till 3am. Since I love my own space and independence, I thought it was too much. But whatever, he seemed to be too into me so I thought I can work around it. Then a guy got paranoid about everything I said, he was super insecure about ‘us’ (even though it was early stages of dating and it was all meant to be relaxed). So, here it is – number one issue was his paranoia.
Second problem I encountered was his evident issues with self-confidence and his looks. I would get a bunch of random selfies in our what’s app conversations because he wasn’t sure whether beard suited him or not. Or he just wanted to show how long it’s taken him to get the right angle. Oh and once he asked what do I prefer because he is worried that his stubble is scratching my face when kissing, which was his excuse for not kissing me properly. Not sure, not sure… Whatever purpose of these photo bombs was, it got too much too quickly. Also made me think, maybe a guy is gay but hasn’t admitted it to himself yet. I am pretty unsure, but asking him wasn’t my forte so I never did. I hope he discovers it himself before he starts dating another girl. For his own sake.
The most memorable experience was going on a date with him. So it was a classic date with drinks ect, nothing special. I was excited cause I kinda liked the guy and wanted to see how it will go. Short story is that it was awkward. Even the kiss in the end turned out to be too awkward to be repeated. He does not make a move at first, and then I am almost out of my tube station, when I get a phone call to come back to the stop were we separated cause it ‘didn’t feel right’. In the end we kissed, but it was definitely an interesting experience. I got thrown at myself a pile of small pecks at my lips, something that my six year old brother does but to my cheeks. Feels cute at first but then gets irritating in a second or two. It was weird, to say the least, but I put it off as him just being nervous.
Anyway, the second date didn’t get much better. The same paranoia continued. Constant questioning of the looks was evident as well. A guy made a comment that his hands are soft while holding my hand. Surely it should have been the other way around? And then he said my hair smelled nice, and that he uses the same product. He started to name every hair product brand. Can I say that the moment got ruined? By the time we tried to kiss, he stopped and asked what’s wrong and if his kisses are to feminine. Exactly, I couldn’t have put it any better – his kisses were feminine. The date was the moment when I realised that there will be no more dates. It was just an issue to tell him that, since he seemed to believe I am perfect and he must fix everything that was wrong. Sadly, some things are just not meant to be fixed. Dating is not meant to be made to work, it has to work naturally…
As you can guess, we didn’t end up going on another date. The ending of it all is not essential to know. It was super awkward, just like the whole thing in general. Perhaps sharing it would involve some personal details on the guy’s behalf, and I don’t want to do that.
It feels like such a relief that he is back working at his store, so I don’t need to run into him and give an awkward smile or try to have a polite, but unwanted, conversation. So it’s all good. However, I have confirmed my idea that there’s no perfection out there and everyone has got something that is not ideal with them, even though that doesn’t seem to be the case. I feel like in my case, this time it was too much to work around it. The whole thing was both sad and funny at the same time, mainly cause I’ve never encountered a guy who acted this way and it’s definitely not a stereotypical image of a guy.
This time I tick off another attempt to experience having a relationship with a guy from the same workplace. So far I had quite a few (all unsuccessful), so I might write more stories about that in the future.