WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW FROM THE GUY ABOUT HIS NEW PLACE

Okay, first I will say something completely out of topic… Somehow every post I draft or share has a tendency to start with ‘you know…’, ‘so…’ – and I genuinely don’t have a clue why. I am just drawn to start it that why, and don’t think I want to switch it around cause it’s part of my writing style, if such exists.

Anyway, my uni society co-operated with another London’s society to carry out political debates prior to the upcoming government elections in Lithuania. Rushing straight from finishing my shift at work, I made it to the second half of the debates. The whole thing was pretty damn successful. BUT obviously I had an awkward moment. Basically, I matched with a guy on tinder who was Lithuanian and I kind of knew of  him (not personally) through our mutual friends. However, we didn’t really talk on tinder apart from greeting each other. And that’s it. So guess what? As I look around the lecture theatre (was lucky to have my well placed table with seats from where I can see everyone), I make an eye contact with that stranger, or not such stranger, and in that moment I pretty much knew that he knew what I knew. As I was picking up an excessive amounts of leaflets after the debates, he obviously had to stick around. Another awkward eye contact. No verbal communications. As he was leaving we exchanged awkward ‘hello’. Obviously, he had to be at the pub during the social post-debates… After a few pints of beer and awkward passing by moments, he actually came up to chat. So now we know each other. And technically we are friends on facebook – so that means friendship right? The guy is kinda cute, but I don’t know if there’s anything to it, though we talked for an hour at the pub. So a girl can come up with a god-knows-based-on-what theory that he likes me. Or maybe he was just friendly, which is obviously more likely. Also, did I tell you? My friend is having his birthday drinks this weekend, and the new friend is invited too. So I will keep you updated!

On the other news, so my good old home friend/almost the guy I used to date, messaged me too. Well actually he is not my good old home friend. I mean can you call like that someone who’s house you visited over New Year’s Eve and then awkwardly left the next morning. Just to not hear back from him and receive the look that we are not even acquainted. Anyway, we were meant to ‘catch up’ when I was visiting my family in Cornwall. But then it took him over a month to reply to my message. Fair shout, tell me you didn’t have 3G or wi-fi but please, it’s been a month and I’ve seen you multiple times online. Sure, it is hard to draft a message to reply. And knowing how naive I am, I see what he did there – not this time Mr A. Also, somehow he felt it was appropriate to let me know that he moved into a place of his own. AND that we should catch up on Friday (thanks for forgetting that I am like 6 hours away by train). Yeah I am pretty sure he is interested to know how’s my family doing and what I’ve been up to. Or not.

I’ve got more dating updates. So, I decided to test the Inner Circle app. And you know, I actually really don’t like it. Okay, I have met quite a cute guy on it and we did have some nice conversations (let’s ignore that he moved to Brighton to do his masters, typically my luck). However, overall the app is kinda rubbish. Maybe it works for those who are older, but for someone who is in her early 20s, and doesn’t fancy to date someone older than 25 – the app is not ideal. You keep getting winks and messages from the guys who are well into their mid 30s, and you can’t do anything. Overall, the app is a disappointment in terms of that. Also in order to see who winked you (what a mystery) or who with you have a match, one needs to pay £5 per week. I am sorry, I am not paying. And anyway, I don’t think online dating is that good despite my consistent some sort of involvement in it.

Enough of my own love updates… My good friend is having some of her own. And I am in a middle of the project that has an aim to stop her from any interaction to do with a guy, who I think is an asshole. Actually, everyone else I’ve spoken to, apart from my friend L obviously, think that he is a no no. Now I am trying to convince her of that. Yet, she is still hoping that his ‘I care about you’ attitude will appear, even though it didn’t for the last year. Let’s talk about girls and how much they can convince themselves that the guy is going to change and they should just keep on trying. We should be realistic and when we date accept the person that we date without wanting to change anything about the other person. If whoever you are dating is acting specific way or has certain views, it is unlikely you can change that. And if that doesn’t suit you – what’s the point of dating them? And, especially, when a guy doesn’t care you can’t make him. It simply doesn’t work.

So here’s an update in terms of love life. What’s your update?

Sandra XO

 

MY LIFE IS A CATASTROPHE, HOW ABOUT YOURS?

Or you can just summarise it as a mess. Here I am, sitting on my coverless bed, surrounded by a lot of random crap which I just don’t have a clue where to put, and throwing it away kinda feels like too much. Or maybe my arms are just at the red signal for now after countless, full bin bags were carried out from my flat. Yes, you got it – I am moving out. In fact, right this second I should be sweeping all the dust and cleaning our mirrors because clerk will come any time.

It sounds all pretty exciting, moving into a new apartment, just before my final year at uni starts and days after I began training for my part time jobs. But in my experience, somehow my life always gets messy. No matter how cautious I am. Can you relate? I hope so. Don’t want to be a loner here because that’s just not fun. And kinda depressing.

Basically after my over dramatised previous post in terms of how I got my phone stolen… I will update you and let you know that it sucks. I am an utter idiot who noted down the wrong reference number for the crime, and at this time I need to pass on the reference number to see if anything can be done with my dad’s insurance. But I don’t have a phone to ring the police station, obviously. My flatmates are all gone and won’t be back any time soon. My friends all live not walking distance from me, so my only option is to travel and arrange to see my friends in order to make a phone call. And it’s probably not even gonna be longer than 2 min phone call. Effort. And no time for that extra effort. Or money.

It would all be fairly okay if I had the finances. That’s where the real problem appears. I was off from work for almost a month. I am moving into a new flat – you know what the London prices are like once you include a month worth of rent, plus deposit and admin fees. It’s expensive. I got just enough in my student overdraft to pay for my new place, waiting for the agency’s email any time now. However, there’s no money for anything else. Literally, I reached the point when I can’t even buy myself vanilla late at Starbucks cause it’s too expensive. Or feel worried about getting on the tube/buses too many times per day (or any times at all) because it costs money. Yesterday I spoke to my parents about how hard I find it to be phoneless, and obviously they suggested for me to get a temporary £10 phone for a couple weeks or so. You should have heard me replying to them that currently £10 are out of my budget. I think I’ve reached my peak, and to be really honest with you it’s not pleasant. I never felt like a proper student, up until now.

Being as creative as I am, I searched on google what options I have to get cash, asap. Nothing suits after all this time researching but there were options. I am just not prepared to go to these lengths. A) I could give away my organs – apparently you get a solid amount of cash for kidney; B) I could get a Sugar Daddy. And I did consider it, even got my own account, until I deleted it. Not sure if I am the type for this kinda beneficial relationship or however you can call it. And here I am, realising that searching for drastic ways to get money for another week means I reached my peak. Or maybe I am just exploring my options, who knows.

It is funny and ironic how when you need something the most, at that very specific time, you don’t get it. Let’s say you really want to have a boyfriend, so just keep wishing girl because that ain’t going to happen unless you stop looking. In a similar way, when you need money then usually there is that silent moment in your bank account when no money comes in. But then it all comes through at once. That is me right here. In a matter of one week I will get my previous deposit back, student finances will come through, my asos refund will reach me AND I will get paid for two jobs. Oh, why can’t one of them happen this week. Please.

On the other subject, I am going to be homeless for a week. Well, maybe that sounds a bit drastic, but I don’t have my own room for a week until I can move into the new place. I am blessed to have friends who I can spend that week with, but the point is still the same. I need to drag all my stuff to my friend’s flat, and I don’t have cash for an uber so there will be me, a well-acknowledged midget, trying to carry my overweight and nearly at its last days suitcase with a bunch of random bags full of stuff that I just can’t bin. And after that one week I will need to do it all again, but going to my new place. So much hassle. And I like my own bed.

My friend L was laughing at me earlier today. She advised me to find a man to help me. Great advice, pretty unlikely though. I mean I am talking to this guy who seems to be nice, fun, interesting but he is not even in the country right now. And you know how every guy always has something wrong with him, even if it is not apparent at the beginning? Well I was debating what could be wrong with him. And I got it… He is going to Brighton to study masters, meaning he won’t be in London for the next year. Brilliant. I see this dating scenario going far. On another note, I had a guy message me on a dating app ‘N8 9ND, interested?’, and it took me a couple mins to realise what he was saying. Smooth line Mr Come Over to My Place, very smooth. Maybe I should try to use the same technique, give my postcode to a guy and ask if he is interested? Obviously to help me to transport my heavy stuff. Genius.

So, here I am, sitting on my bed with a pot of noodles next to me and thinking how I reached this stage. I have been on pot noodles diet for the last two weeks. My phone has been stolen for three days now. My relationship status is still firmly going as single. My student overdraft is basically at its maximum. I don’t have a spare £2.75 for my Vanilla latte nor even £1.50 for a bus ride. Peak times guys, peak times for sure.

I will keep you updated, currently I am looking for a rainbow to emerge across the rainy clouds.

Sandra

I HOPE MY IPHONE 6 FEEDS YOUR FAMILY

So, yesterday I voluntarily gave my iphone 6 to a stranger. Or maybe I should rephrase it… I basically allowed him and his buddy to steal my phone while I was giving him the directions how to get to St Pancras Station (I hope you got there buddy, eventually). I say that I gave it voluntarily because at the back of my mind, I didn’t even assume that someone would come up to me in a cafe, pretend like they don’t speak English and after physically putting a London underground map  so close to my face that I could barely breathe (or on that matter see my unfinished Wasabi plate), my phone just disappeared. Magic. They must have ‘gone’ to King’s Cross station cause they were running late to start the term at Hogwards or something like that… Harry Potter jokes aside, I am pretty gutted. And I miss my phone. And I am, once again, disappointed in the humanity.

The worst feeling, of course after understanding that my phone no longer can be found through ‘Find my phone’ app, is that one can try and do a good deed, but that doesn’t mean one will get the same back. I assumed that the thief didn’t speak English and was kinda lost. I offered to even write on that damn map the directions for him. And this all happened while his buddy in a black leather jacket was stealing my phone from below the map. But you know what else sucks? Right next to me and my friend there was another man, who must have clearly seen what was happening next to him (let’s be real, we see more than we let people know when it comes to our surroundings, we are all noisy creatures after all), yet he did not even say anything. Suddenly after myself and my friend realised what happened, the stranger next to us just showed the direction they went to. Thanks, as if I didn’t see it myself. Sir, you are a bastard. What else can I say.

It’s okay, I will downgrade myself and get a cheaper phone until my contract ends. And it’s fine, up until I can even afford to get a cheap phone – I will just be phoneless and clueless, fake Londoner looking for places without the City Mapper app. Also, I can put a bet on the fact that if someone comes up to me and asks for help, I will help them again. No matter how stupid it is, that is what I do. I am a naive, 5.2ft girl who has hope that maybe there’s at least a few people in London who are worth helping for. And to you, my dear thief – I do really really hate you right now. But I hope that whatever reason you had to steal my iphone – sort it out. Feed your siblings. Pay your bills so you don’t become homeless. Sort out your deportation issues. Whatever it is, at least use this money as your prize from a charity to get your life together. Or start going that direction, anyway. It’s never too late.

R.I.P. my iphone with a newly bought see-through case. I just replaced it the very same day.

p.s. I still struggle to understand why people would do this.

Enjoy your Sunday,

Sandra

 

 

 

ARE YOU FEELING MORE ATTRACTIVE?

Let’s talk about Tinder. After 381 matches (I swear I am not always on it, honestly), I think I am qualified to chat about it. Or maybe not so qualified, since I can count the number of the dates I went on my one hand. Perhaps the number of guys that message was slightly higher, but still maybe 1/4 of those 381 matches.

So, what is the purpose of Tinder? Is it a way to get a one night stand, start friends with benefits, find one and only true love or it is merely a device to occasionally pick up the pieces of your ego when it gets wounded? I have heard how people go on multiple dates, and some have found a long-term boyfriends. It’s a fair play, but still the potential of this site feels unfulfilled. Whether you agree with me or not, I think the purpose of Tinder is for an ego boost, which is pretty upsetting in many ways. Single people could use this site for much more, whether it was to find a long term partner or have a bit of fun, I don’t think there is anything wrong with people doing either. However, what I gather is that majority just do nothing. Can’t help it but think how many missed out opportunities there’s floating along within this network.

Since I am, let’s be real, not the one to go for one night stands, I tend to ignore the messages send from guys hinting at coming over to ‘watch a movie’. However, at least they are out there and are straightforward with what they want. Hence, they use the app. In the description there are no rules who can use it as it’s just a ‘dating app’. Confession number two, I am fairly traditional and don’t like messaging guys first. It’s something I try to start changing, but my personal experience always leads to unsuccessful stories, so I am not a fan of that. I much prefer to wait until the guy messages me, and thus gives me a hint that I caught his interest. Although Tinder is just an app, requiring no direct contact to start off with – barely any guys tend to message. I think the lesson goes to both males and females, why not use the app, since it’s out there with a fairly big popularity ranking, to at least have a nice/funny/weird conversation with a stranger? No one will point a finger at you cause all you do is give a shot with that attractive match that you made. If it doesn’t work, it’s easy – unmatch or just stop the communication. I am sure no one is going to get hurt. As hypocritical as I sound, I think it’s a shame for us to be wasting the time on the app by not even attempting to get anything out of it.

If I am right, and Tinder is primarily used for the boost of ego then it is not the best conclusion that one can make. It adds so much artificiality to this app because people solely judge you on the looks (let’s admit it, we don’t pay that much attention to the description box). Is having a greater number of matches meant to boost your ego because you’re that good looking that X number of people matched with you? Surely we should attempt to increase our confidence through real-life experiences, such as healthy living to look our best, hard work to grow within our careers ect. Use of dating app to boost your confidence is so short-term and pointless cause it practically means nothing.

So, that’s what I’ve got in terms of my thoughts about Tinder. Having matched with 381 men and going on dates with merely 5, I think it is not used to what is the potential of it. If anything, it is misused by a fake mask of a common assumption that it helps to boost your ego.

Have a good Sunday,

Sandra