That one time you sent a picture of a guy to that very same guy

 

Embarrassing, isn’t it. As the guy had said – I got busted big time. But I guess one should have some skills to send the guy’s that you’re talking to screenshot of his profile picture to him. All girls do it, so let’s not deny it,, but admitting to the guy that you think is cute the reason why you did what you did is kinda a bit embarrassing. Yeah, I found it hilarious in a sense and will laugh about it whenever I tell me friends about it. But right then, I wanted to erase the moment for a second or block him and forget I had anything to do with him. But I guess he was cute, at the end of the day, so I decided against such decision. Believe it or not, we are still talking.

 

You know what was the worst part of it? I was waiting for this guy to give me a phone call as he gets signal. So I spent about 5 minutes dying inside, googling if there is a way to delete a message on whatsapp that had been sent but not delivered yet (in case if you want to know, no there isn’t) as well as messaging anyone who is prompt to reply from my friends, seeking for this random, yet hilarious to them, advice. Confronting a guy over the phone was worse than just replying to his texts. But hey, at least I guess he took the whole thing as a compliment. At the end of a day I boosted his ego and foolishly admitted my interest in him. Unintentionally, of course. Because what girl does not like to play these games where you think telling a guy you are interested is not fun so you need to always beat around the bush, waiting for him to make the first move.

 

Lesson learned = in the future I will check twice or more if needed that I am sending the right attachments to the right people. Trust me, I will.

 

Talk soon,

Sandra

X

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POOING BIRDS AND CUTE GUY

So, today was not really that eventful. Yet, I think I’ve learned a couple lessons that I won’t repeat again. Hm, maybe until I forget about them and then they will be fresh and like brand new when I learn them again.

Home feels lonely. Not that I am used to spending much time in the flat since I am always late somewhere and doing God knows what and God knows where, but at the moment my flatmates are gone home for Christmas, and here I am. Alone in our typical student flat, just me and our mouse. Or the guy from the agency says that the mouse is gone now. So I guess that means I am totally alone. At least I’ve got an empty fridge to myself, though I don’t really cook so not much use, is it.

On the other news, I am doing my Christmas shopping this week. The same week as an actual Christmas is taking place. And, like every year, I am promising myself to never do it again. Not the actual Christmas present shopping ceremony, but leave it to the last min. It’s just horrible, and living in London makes it million times worse. I knew it was gonna be a bad day when I was walking to start off my shopping, and a bird literally pooed right next to me. Yes, I am lucky it didn’t poo on me but it was so damn close. And I wore my new scarf today, so I would have cried.

Also, while having my fun down the Oxford Street, I decided to multi task, so I decided to eat my chocolate croissant while walking. Not doing this again. The croissant was great, really but while I was munching on it (and I mean stuffing my face with it), a cute guy walked passed me and turned around at the worse time possible. We made an eye contact, but perhaps it was not that magical moment when you are so close to saying hi and exchanging a few words. I don’t think I could have even smiled, unless he somehow found girls with chocolate and pastry on their teeth attractive. Probably not.

Here I am, currently lying in bed surrounded by wrapping paper and glittery ribbons. At least going to wrap my presents not a night before it’s Christmas. See, maybe I am learning something!

Farewell a guy with a cute smile. 

And thank you bird for not pooing on me. Appreciate it.

Till the next time

Sandra 

XO

How to deal with work Christmas party

So,  here we are. It’s December, which means going to a Christmas staff party. Let’s be honest, how many of us here actually really enjoy those? I thought I do, but then I decided that not exactly.

Since I have two part-time jobs, I get to go to more than one Christmas party, as they call it. And you know, it’s so much effort. One of my jobs involves working in retail, a luxury retail to be precise. The place where people are more judgemental than usual, can spot when you didn’t co-ordinate your outfit well, and in general are very good with those bitchy vibes. Doesn’t sound appealing. On the other hand, my office job means talking to those who I would never bother to ask ‘how are you?’ because there’s just no point.The way my office job works is that our company rents rooms from another company, the one that is organising the party. But like I said, the problem is that we don’t really like each other that much. So here we are. It would be rude of them not to invite us, and it would be rude for us not to attend it. That’s the problem, so often Christmas parties are something that you don’t essentially want to participate in, yet you technically should go.

I think what makes this experience a bit better is having a glass (or more) of wine, since it seems to appear in most parties. At least you can just raise your spirits, and show that smile that otherwise wouldn’t show up. But, it can also go wrong. Imagine, at my Christmas party that I’ve attended last Sunday, I had perhaps a bit too much wine. And my comments became more sarcastic and snappy, so I’m having major regrets right now. The co-worker I had a meaningless fling with was there, and I might have made a comment, or two, to him. He said that we can’t date because he likes someone else and wants to ‘be loved again’, so doesn’t want to spoil whatever he has with her. Even though ‘he likes me too’. And this happened after our encounter at work, before the start of the shift. Literally, received such statement from him via whats app as I walked away from him.Thanks to red wine, a long day at work and a bit of bitterness that I have towards him, I had to ask him ‘so, how is it going with the girl?’… A comment to which, as I already knew, the reply was going to be negative. He gave the shortest answer, and ran way.  But it felt good. Without that wine, I would have never said anything. Talk about the tensions present though.

The worst part tends to be those interactions with other women. You know when there is a co worker who you are ‘friends’ with, yet your conversations are on such a basic level, that you can sense the mutual dislike on both parties. That was what happened to me. Maybe I am one in a million, but I definitely go to a work due and hope to look better or at least not worse than other female co-workers. I think it is a thing that I wish I didn’t do, yet it comes naturally. So coming to a party, and running into those who you consider as ‘frenemies’ can be awkward. You kinda tell them that they look lovely, while at the same time you judge them head to toe, and also question who looks better.Then you try to ask how is their life going, how are they finding the night… And then you leave. Consider it as fulfilment of your duty. You are obliged to show politeness, even though there’s so many tensions behind. Work parties for you.

I am not saying that all work parties tend to be overly awkward. But it would be hard to deny that there is ALWAYS some tension between different individuals. At the end of the day, we are all there as part of our annual duty, because it would be rude not to. And most of us either get overly drunk so we don’t remember anything from the night, or we get back home and bitch about our night to the flatmate/mother/husband/boyfriend or a cat/dog. With another glass of wine.

I wish you all to have a wonderful, festive month of December without majorly disappointing staff parties. Lighten it up with a notion of carelessness. So what if you make a comment or two that are awkward? Or if your dress code doesn’t match everyone else’s. Laugh it off. People will not like you more or less after the Christmas do. Have fun, and enjoy it with those that you actually like!

And here is a shot of me from that night, with a half-empty glass in my hand. 20 mins into the night.

Sandra

xo

 

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Your girlfriends know better

Let’s just say, when your girlfriend tells you that that guy is an asshole/idiot/player or a mess or whatever it is… Then just go with it, and don’t get invested. I am having my pride issues to admit to one of my closest friends that she was right, and he is not the one. Perhaps she will never hear me say it, but at least I’ve learned the lesson. Until the next time.

Here I am, lying in my bed with some chocolate, tangerines (couldn’t resist to their smell in the market, and Christmas is soon after all) and a book. Minus the mind full of questions and ‘what if’ scenarios, self-blame, and over analysing. Weirdly, my chocolate is lying there untouched, which feels like a bizarre concept to someone with a sweet tooth. So let’s say getting over a guy can work out for a better, at least I might get into shape before those Christmas parties come. And then gain it all back again, obviously!

Since my chocolate mania went on a break, I hope so will my phone one too. Like most of us, I check insta and facebook regularly, but have issues with replying. I still haven’t answered to those messages I received two weeks ago from my friends saying happy birthday, even though I love them all to bits. And here I am, avoiding facebook now because I am too scared to see that the frenchie (no capital to be put there) is online. You know, if he is then I will get sad for not getting that message (a reply wouldn’t take me two weeks in this case). On the other hand, if I will spot that he’s been not active for several hours, I will question who he is with or what he is doing. You know the drill.. So yeah, thank you frenchie for letting me detox from facebook, at least.

The morale of my most recent romantic encounter, or perhaps two ongoing which ended pretty much on the same day (there were two and then there’s no more), is that a girl should always have respect and pride attached to her. If you won’t respect your self and your beliefs, then who else will?

So au revoir to the frenchie with a cute accent and a cheeky smile (even though my girlfriends say he is not that good looking and I am much better than him, and I should trust them – right?), let’s wait till we see each other next time at one of those rough uni clubs.

Sandra XO

 

WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW FROM THE GUY ABOUT HIS NEW PLACE

Okay, first I will say something completely out of topic… Somehow every post I draft or share has a tendency to start with ‘you know…’, ‘so…’ – and I genuinely don’t have a clue why. I am just drawn to start it that why, and don’t think I want to switch it around cause it’s part of my writing style, if such exists.

Anyway, my uni society co-operated with another London’s society to carry out political debates prior to the upcoming government elections in Lithuania. Rushing straight from finishing my shift at work, I made it to the second half of the debates. The whole thing was pretty damn successful. BUT obviously I had an awkward moment. Basically, I matched with a guy on tinder who was Lithuanian and I kind of knew of  him (not personally) through our mutual friends. However, we didn’t really talk on tinder apart from greeting each other. And that’s it. So guess what? As I look around the lecture theatre (was lucky to have my well placed table with seats from where I can see everyone), I make an eye contact with that stranger, or not such stranger, and in that moment I pretty much knew that he knew what I knew. As I was picking up an excessive amounts of leaflets after the debates, he obviously had to stick around. Another awkward eye contact. No verbal communications. As he was leaving we exchanged awkward ‘hello’. Obviously, he had to be at the pub during the social post-debates… After a few pints of beer and awkward passing by moments, he actually came up to chat. So now we know each other. And technically we are friends on facebook – so that means friendship right? The guy is kinda cute, but I don’t know if there’s anything to it, though we talked for an hour at the pub. So a girl can come up with a god-knows-based-on-what theory that he likes me. Or maybe he was just friendly, which is obviously more likely. Also, did I tell you? My friend is having his birthday drinks this weekend, and the new friend is invited too. So I will keep you updated!

On the other news, so my good old home friend/almost the guy I used to date, messaged me too. Well actually he is not my good old home friend. I mean can you call like that someone who’s house you visited over New Year’s Eve and then awkwardly left the next morning. Just to not hear back from him and receive the look that we are not even acquainted. Anyway, we were meant to ‘catch up’ when I was visiting my family in Cornwall. But then it took him over a month to reply to my message. Fair shout, tell me you didn’t have 3G or wi-fi but please, it’s been a month and I’ve seen you multiple times online. Sure, it is hard to draft a message to reply. And knowing how naive I am, I see what he did there – not this time Mr A. Also, somehow he felt it was appropriate to let me know that he moved into a place of his own. AND that we should catch up on Friday (thanks for forgetting that I am like 6 hours away by train). Yeah I am pretty sure he is interested to know how’s my family doing and what I’ve been up to. Or not.

I’ve got more dating updates. So, I decided to test the Inner Circle app. And you know, I actually really don’t like it. Okay, I have met quite a cute guy on it and we did have some nice conversations (let’s ignore that he moved to Brighton to do his masters, typically my luck). However, overall the app is kinda rubbish. Maybe it works for those who are older, but for someone who is in her early 20s, and doesn’t fancy to date someone older than 25 – the app is not ideal. You keep getting winks and messages from the guys who are well into their mid 30s, and you can’t do anything. Overall, the app is a disappointment in terms of that. Also in order to see who winked you (what a mystery) or who with you have a match, one needs to pay £5 per week. I am sorry, I am not paying. And anyway, I don’t think online dating is that good despite my consistent some sort of involvement in it.

Enough of my own love updates… My good friend is having some of her own. And I am in a middle of the project that has an aim to stop her from any interaction to do with a guy, who I think is an asshole. Actually, everyone else I’ve spoken to, apart from my friend L obviously, think that he is a no no. Now I am trying to convince her of that. Yet, she is still hoping that his ‘I care about you’ attitude will appear, even though it didn’t for the last year. Let’s talk about girls and how much they can convince themselves that the guy is going to change and they should just keep on trying. We should be realistic and when we date accept the person that we date without wanting to change anything about the other person. If whoever you are dating is acting specific way or has certain views, it is unlikely you can change that. And if that doesn’t suit you – what’s the point of dating them? And, especially, when a guy doesn’t care you can’t make him. It simply doesn’t work.

So here’s an update in terms of love life. What’s your update?

Sandra XO

 

MY LIFE IS A CATASTROPHE, HOW ABOUT YOURS?

Or you can just summarise it as a mess. Here I am, sitting on my coverless bed, surrounded by a lot of random crap which I just don’t have a clue where to put, and throwing it away kinda feels like too much. Or maybe my arms are just at the red signal for now after countless, full bin bags were carried out from my flat. Yes, you got it – I am moving out. In fact, right this second I should be sweeping all the dust and cleaning our mirrors because clerk will come any time.

It sounds all pretty exciting, moving into a new apartment, just before my final year at uni starts and days after I began training for my part time jobs. But in my experience, somehow my life always gets messy. No matter how cautious I am. Can you relate? I hope so. Don’t want to be a loner here because that’s just not fun. And kinda depressing.

Basically after my over dramatised previous post in terms of how I got my phone stolen… I will update you and let you know that it sucks. I am an utter idiot who noted down the wrong reference number for the crime, and at this time I need to pass on the reference number to see if anything can be done with my dad’s insurance. But I don’t have a phone to ring the police station, obviously. My flatmates are all gone and won’t be back any time soon. My friends all live not walking distance from me, so my only option is to travel and arrange to see my friends in order to make a phone call. And it’s probably not even gonna be longer than 2 min phone call. Effort. And no time for that extra effort. Or money.

It would all be fairly okay if I had the finances. That’s where the real problem appears. I was off from work for almost a month. I am moving into a new flat – you know what the London prices are like once you include a month worth of rent, plus deposit and admin fees. It’s expensive. I got just enough in my student overdraft to pay for my new place, waiting for the agency’s email any time now. However, there’s no money for anything else. Literally, I reached the point when I can’t even buy myself vanilla late at Starbucks cause it’s too expensive. Or feel worried about getting on the tube/buses too many times per day (or any times at all) because it costs money. Yesterday I spoke to my parents about how hard I find it to be phoneless, and obviously they suggested for me to get a temporary £10 phone for a couple weeks or so. You should have heard me replying to them that currently £10 are out of my budget. I think I’ve reached my peak, and to be really honest with you it’s not pleasant. I never felt like a proper student, up until now.

Being as creative as I am, I searched on google what options I have to get cash, asap. Nothing suits after all this time researching but there were options. I am just not prepared to go to these lengths. A) I could give away my organs – apparently you get a solid amount of cash for kidney; B) I could get a Sugar Daddy. And I did consider it, even got my own account, until I deleted it. Not sure if I am the type for this kinda beneficial relationship or however you can call it. And here I am, realising that searching for drastic ways to get money for another week means I reached my peak. Or maybe I am just exploring my options, who knows.

It is funny and ironic how when you need something the most, at that very specific time, you don’t get it. Let’s say you really want to have a boyfriend, so just keep wishing girl because that ain’t going to happen unless you stop looking. In a similar way, when you need money then usually there is that silent moment in your bank account when no money comes in. But then it all comes through at once. That is me right here. In a matter of one week I will get my previous deposit back, student finances will come through, my asos refund will reach me AND I will get paid for two jobs. Oh, why can’t one of them happen this week. Please.

On the other subject, I am going to be homeless for a week. Well, maybe that sounds a bit drastic, but I don’t have my own room for a week until I can move into the new place. I am blessed to have friends who I can spend that week with, but the point is still the same. I need to drag all my stuff to my friend’s flat, and I don’t have cash for an uber so there will be me, a well-acknowledged midget, trying to carry my overweight and nearly at its last days suitcase with a bunch of random bags full of stuff that I just can’t bin. And after that one week I will need to do it all again, but going to my new place. So much hassle. And I like my own bed.

My friend L was laughing at me earlier today. She advised me to find a man to help me. Great advice, pretty unlikely though. I mean I am talking to this guy who seems to be nice, fun, interesting but he is not even in the country right now. And you know how every guy always has something wrong with him, even if it is not apparent at the beginning? Well I was debating what could be wrong with him. And I got it… He is going to Brighton to study masters, meaning he won’t be in London for the next year. Brilliant. I see this dating scenario going far. On another note, I had a guy message me on a dating app ‘N8 9ND, interested?’, and it took me a couple mins to realise what he was saying. Smooth line Mr Come Over to My Place, very smooth. Maybe I should try to use the same technique, give my postcode to a guy and ask if he is interested? Obviously to help me to transport my heavy stuff. Genius.

So, here I am, sitting on my bed with a pot of noodles next to me and thinking how I reached this stage. I have been on pot noodles diet for the last two weeks. My phone has been stolen for three days now. My relationship status is still firmly going as single. My student overdraft is basically at its maximum. I don’t have a spare £2.75 for my Vanilla latte nor even £1.50 for a bus ride. Peak times guys, peak times for sure.

I will keep you updated, currently I am looking for a rainbow to emerge across the rainy clouds.

Sandra

I HOPE MY IPHONE 6 FEEDS YOUR FAMILY

So, yesterday I voluntarily gave my iphone 6 to a stranger. Or maybe I should rephrase it… I basically allowed him and his buddy to steal my phone while I was giving him the directions how to get to St Pancras Station (I hope you got there buddy, eventually). I say that I gave it voluntarily because at the back of my mind, I didn’t even assume that someone would come up to me in a cafe, pretend like they don’t speak English and after physically putting a London underground map  so close to my face that I could barely breathe (or on that matter see my unfinished Wasabi plate), my phone just disappeared. Magic. They must have ‘gone’ to King’s Cross station cause they were running late to start the term at Hogwards or something like that… Harry Potter jokes aside, I am pretty gutted. And I miss my phone. And I am, once again, disappointed in the humanity.

The worst feeling, of course after understanding that my phone no longer can be found through ‘Find my phone’ app, is that one can try and do a good deed, but that doesn’t mean one will get the same back. I assumed that the thief didn’t speak English and was kinda lost. I offered to even write on that damn map the directions for him. And this all happened while his buddy in a black leather jacket was stealing my phone from below the map. But you know what else sucks? Right next to me and my friend there was another man, who must have clearly seen what was happening next to him (let’s be real, we see more than we let people know when it comes to our surroundings, we are all noisy creatures after all), yet he did not even say anything. Suddenly after myself and my friend realised what happened, the stranger next to us just showed the direction they went to. Thanks, as if I didn’t see it myself. Sir, you are a bastard. What else can I say.

It’s okay, I will downgrade myself and get a cheaper phone until my contract ends. And it’s fine, up until I can even afford to get a cheap phone – I will just be phoneless and clueless, fake Londoner looking for places without the City Mapper app. Also, I can put a bet on the fact that if someone comes up to me and asks for help, I will help them again. No matter how stupid it is, that is what I do. I am a naive, 5.2ft girl who has hope that maybe there’s at least a few people in London who are worth helping for. And to you, my dear thief – I do really really hate you right now. But I hope that whatever reason you had to steal my iphone – sort it out. Feed your siblings. Pay your bills so you don’t become homeless. Sort out your deportation issues. Whatever it is, at least use this money as your prize from a charity to get your life together. Or start going that direction, anyway. It’s never too late.

R.I.P. my iphone with a newly bought see-through case. I just replaced it the very same day.

p.s. I still struggle to understand why people would do this.

Enjoy your Sunday,

Sandra